An English Teacher in China

“Looking back, I can see how my fears and hopeless attitude with regard to the future were wrong.  Fear is the great destroyer of happiness, and most fears are unjustifiable.”  Dr. Norman Bethune.

When I first arrived in China and spoke to locals, when they found out I was Canadian they automatically said one of two names: Da Shan (Mark Rowswell) or Bai Qiu En (Dr. Norman Bethune).  Da Shan is a Canadian known as one of the first fluent Chinese speakers/entertainers and as he is still working in China it didn’t take long to get to know about him.  But Norman Bethune was someone I knew little about and was at first surprised how every Chinese person seemed to know more of this Canadian than I had.

Over the years, I pieced together some information about Dr. Norman Bethune: he went to China to help the Red Army against the Japanese; Mao wrote something about him so all Chinese memorized his words; Dr. Bethune died in China.  Sadly, that was about all I knew this amazing man until I picked up the book Extraordinary Canadians: Norman Bethune by Adrienne Clarkson.

His story, his bravery and his sacrifice are remarkable.

He was a doctor, artist, poet, philosopher, social worker, innovator and sounds like a stubborn man and a martyr, having died helping others.  It’s true he went to China to help provide medical service during the war against Japan.  Before that he was in Spain during their war against Fascism also helping medically inventing the first mobile transfusion unit.  Also it was enlightening to read about his political stance, being a communist (I think socialist is probably more appropriate) who believed in individualism.  He loved helping people get healthy as it is good for everyone.  I loved reading about his stubbornness and how he did what he believed was right regardless who he upset.

A friend once asked me why the Chinese loved or respected him so.  My understanding is he was loved because he traveled so far away from his home to help foreign people in a completely selfless act and gave his life doing so.  He didn’t do it for money or fame.  He gave his all because he felt that was what he needed to do.  He gave the greatest sacrifice, his life, dying of blood poisoning at the age of 49.

His story, his writing and his life were moving for me.  Clearly I still have more I would like to know of this great man.  And I highly recommend this book or any book on Dr. Norman Bethune.  I think his story is a must read for any Canadian, especially ones who are living or who have lived in China.  His sacrifice helped open doors and hearts for Canadians in China.   He truly was an extraordinary Canadian.

Having lived in China for almost four years I have had a lot of amazing experiences and have made a lot mistakes.  You’d think that I have also learned a lot from each of these mistakes.  Unfortunately I don’t always.  But one area that really sticks in my mind has to do with learning Chinese because that was a personal goal for me in going to China.

Learning Chinese has taught me a lot.  I have made and continue to make mistakes when it comes to learning Chinese such as,

1. Language exchange is not a good way for me to learn a language, but it is a great way to practice fluency and to learn how people really use it. (usually we’d end up speaking mostly English because it was easier and I was afraid of making mistakes)
2. You need to speak the language to learn the language (sorry for all us shy people out there who are afraid of making mistakes)
3. Getting a Chinese girlfriend who can speak English does NOT guarantee your Chinese will improve (see #2)

But the main lesson I took from studying Chinese was

If you want to do anything start NOW.  Today.  This instant!

When I first started learning Chinese I didn’t really know where to start so I kept putting it off.  I waited and wasted months and months.  For awhile I wasn’t sure if I was going to come back for a second or third year and I kept thinking, “What’s the point of learning it if I’m going to leave in a few months?”  But looking back this is something I regret because I ended up staying almost four years and I think I could have made more progress if I only had kept starting. Enjoy every second you can and keep working towards your goals.

Another friend of mine is a retired teacher from Canada.  She and her husband have been living in China for about seven years.  Every year they struggle with deciding if they’ll return to China after the summer break.  Every Fall when they return they always think about studying Chinese, but talk themselves out of it saying this will probably be their last year.  Seven years later all they can say is a few words with broken tones to order their favourite Chinese dishes.  Now I’m sure if they had realized at the start they’d be in China for this long they’d have committed to learning the language.  But it’s funny how time flows like water in a river never to be seen again.

So when I returned to Canada I had a few goals to get set up and doing the things I wanted to be doing.  I didn’t wait to get an apartment in the area I really wanted to be in.  I found a great place near a beautiful park so I can run in the mornings before work.  I got a job in place I (think) I want to work.  But at least I’m working and this will help me achieve my financial goals.  This weekend I went out and bought all the furniture I need.  This week I’m going to sign up for a Toastmasters club here in Toronto as this is something I really enjoy.   And I’m going to find a hockey team or a skating skills program as that is what I want to work on this summer.

Enjoy all the time you have.  Do whatever you think you want to do now.  If you’re thinking of what’s the point of signing up for a three month course when you might leave in three months, sign up!  At least you’ll have learned three months more than you would otherwise. If that is your goal, keep starting.

Don’t waste the time you have.   We don’t know how much time we get.  All we know is what we can do with the minutes we have in front of faces.

So I have returned to Canada and am feeling a little lost after living in Beijing for almost four years.  I think I’m facing reverse culture shock. I definitely moved through all the phases of culture shock during my time in Beijing.

Honeymoon phase

My first 5 weeks were spent travelling through China and I was a little in awe of being in China.  I remember standing on the street and not being able to believe that I was living and breathing in China.  This was especially true when I was standing on top of the Great Wall near Simatai not being able to comprehend that I was standing where I was standing.  This is a good phase.

Negotiation phase

This is the anxious, unsettling, depressing phase.  This one I clearly remember.  Hotmail went down for about a month.  I was living in a hotel near Fragrant Hills.  I didn’t have any friends.  I was teaching one student Johnny.  I was lonely.  All I wanted to do was to contact my family in Canada.  And Hotmail was down.  I tried to figure out how to use the calling cards.  I bought all of them.  None worked in my hotel.  After desperately trying to use the pay phone I broke down.  I was almost in tears over not being able to call home.  That was my low point.  Slowly things got better, making friends and contacts and being able to get in touch with home.  This was the worst stage for me.

Adjustment phase

This is where you get used to or adjusted to the new place.  This happened to me after about 6 months.  At this stage I remember looking out my hotel window in Fragrant hills, looking at the trees and forgetting that I was in China.  It just felt like I was at home.  Living in a hotel I was able to watch CNN and HBO, nice perks.  Even though I’d go into the little village of Fragrant Hills to get lunch or dinner,still I’d often forget I was in China.  I remember thinking this was strange.

Reverse Culture shock

Re-entry shock is upon me.  After living in China for almost four years I knew I’d face some challenges.  Before I came back for good, I spent 6 weeks at home over Christmas and this helped me adjust.  But in returning and getting resettled, my toughest challenge has been finding my home.  Yes, I am looking for a place to live, but that isn’t what I mean.  What I mean is even though I had lived in Toronto for 5 years before I went China for 4 years both places felt like home and both places didn’t.  Also my parents are living in Ottawa, which also feels like home.  Now, instead of picking one home, I’ve come to realize that all these places are my home.  I now have at least 3 homes: Ottawa, Toronto and Beijing.  Unfortunately I don’t have a physical home in each place…yet.

Further reading the Wikipedia article is pretty interesting.  I especially liked the tips, which Wiki isn’t supposed to do, on how to adjust better such as: learn about the culture and language before you go, be open-minded, and try not to offend or be offended.

With regards to my Reverse Culture Shock, I decided to try and adjust sooner by taking action.  One thing that is helping a lot is having my brother living in Toronto which gives me a place to live.  It’s always nice to have family to help you adjust.  Also, I signed up for some adult education courses to give me some structure and something to focus on.  I’ve heard structure can help someone going through re-entry shock feel grounded.  For me it’s nice to have a few pieces of my schedule locked down (Monday and Wednesday nights) while all the other pieces of my life (job, apartment, social life, adjusting to my long-distant relationship) are moving in so many directions and different speeds that I almost feel overwhelmed.  This week I’ll also look into a Toastmasters club.  I think that could be another great think to help me develop, meet new people and also to give me some more structure.

It is odd being back in Toronto.  I feel lost at times but I think this is interesting too.  I decided to try and learn this city again.  So like when I lived in Beijing, I bought a city map and I plan on exploring.  Also, I’m using public transit more which has helped me learn more about the city.

Culture shock will happen if you live overseas for an extended period of time.  You can prepare for it and there are some things you can do to try to get through the stages faster and adjust.

“Go with the flow,” my friend told me about the twists and turns of living in China, “and you usually end up in a better place.”

It has been a struggle to write lately.

It’s not because I haven’t experienced anything in China worth writing about.  It’s not that I haven’t had the time to write.  It’s not that I have lost the passion to write.  Actually, it’s because I haven’t felt like I deserved to write about China.

A few weeks ago I made a decision that will end one chapter of my life.  I decided to return to Canada.  I decided to stop teaching English in China.  I decided to leave China.

So this put me in an awkward position.  Should I continue to write about living and working and dreaming of China when I was planning and preparing and priming to return to Canada?  My heart said no.  So I stopped.

But, here I am again, softly typing on my keyboard.  I have decided to write again because I believe I have some things that I still want to write about.  And I want to improve my writing skills.  Yesterday I finished reading the best book I have read on writing called, On Writing Well, by William Zinsser. In reading this book, I realized that if I want to improve my writing skills then I would have to write (an rewrite) more.  So I will continue down this path.

As for ending one chapter of my life.  I have always thought that ones’ life is like a book with many interesting chapters and characters who enter and exit at different stages to help us learn something.  Like a good book the purpose is not to get to the end quickly, but instead to enjoy every page, every twist, every experience.  I love books.  I love great characters.  I love how some characters quickly enter a story and then leave, but still leave their impression on the reader and the story.  I also love how certain characters stay with the protagonist through the closing of one chapter and the start of the next.  Some stay throughout the great book.  So while this chapter is closing for me, another one is beginning with a lot of pure white pages ready to be filled.

5.  “One can be said to have mastered what one has learned,” said Zi Xia, “if one learns new knowledge every day, and reviews what one has learned every month,”

This is one of the most important things that I have learned in my 32 years of being.  How it’s important to try and learn something, anything, each and every day.  And if you do this you will be a little better tomorrow that you were yesterday and will be headed in the right direction.  As for reviewing what one has learned, that is also vital for memory work.  If you review something regularly you greatly increase the chance you’ll remember it (24 hour, 1 month, 6 month reviews).

8. Zi Xia said, “The petty man tries his best to cover up his errors.”

I take this as a gentleman will own up to his mistakes and face the consequences and learn from the experience.  As I write this I am staring at a burn mark I left on my desk last night from an errant candle during my Valentine’s Day festivities.  I was debating simply pulling the TV forward to cover this burn mark or to face up to it with my landlord.  I’ll probably try to fix it first, then tell the landlord.

11. “As long as one does not step out of bounds in big matters, it is permissible for one not to be meticulous.” said Zi Xia.

I like this.  I take it as focus on getting the big things right.  If you focus on the 1 or 2 important things, everything else will work itself out as it should.

25. Chen Ziqin said to Zi Gong, “Do you really think that Confucius is greater than you? Is it out of respect for your Master?” Zi Gong answered, “One can tell whether a gentleman is wise or stupid in one word he utters.  So he has to be careful in speech.  Nobody is able to surpass my Master just as nobody can reach the sky with the help of a ladder.  When my Master took office in court, the common people knew the rites, and followed my Master whole-heartedly.  Moreover, people were attracted from afar.  My Master will be honoured when alive and mourned when dead.  How can I equal him?

Be careful of what you say.  You can tell whether someone is wise or stupid , “…in one word he utters.”  Does this hold true for with one word someone writes?  Then I must remember to review my work better.  And think more before I utter sounds out of my mouth in the form of words.

On the first day of Spring Festival, Jan26th, I decided to go on a media fast, to not watch any movies or TV for seven days, and I can happily say that I made it.  Yes, I know this fast is a bit lame compared with a no-food fast, but I’m working my way up to a no-food fast.

After I finished the 7 day fast, I was surprised and a little shocked at how easy it was. So I decided to try and push on to see if I could keep it up for 30 days (I’m working on 30 day goals this year taken from my favourite Net sources TheSimpleDollar, ZenHabits and 4HourWorkWeek).  Unfortunately around day 14 I popped in a movie during lunch and broke the fast.  My girlfriend told me I was greedy going for 30 days (hah)  Now I am around Day 19 (if I were still counting) and I can say that I am on my way to changing this habit.

Now if I put in a movie it is either as a reward, for say finishing 30 minutes of work, or as a distraction while I’m doing something else like cleaning.  But I am consciously aware at the deal I am making and the risk that I’ll waste more time by splitting my focus on two tasks.  I figure this conscious awareness and mental negotiation are steps in the right direction.

To be honest, the most difficult time for me was Day 2.  After that, I actually did not want to waste time watching DVDs or TV.  I felt great having freed up at least 2-3 hours per day.  I also felt calmer and more relaxed.  It was nice to call friends and family back in Canada and catch up.  It was nice to pick up a book at 9pm and read for an hour or so and then go to bed, instead of putting in a movie and then not getting to bed until past midnight.  It was nice to find my more natural sleep patterns as I get sleepy around 10pm.  The biggest gain for me was to feel a lot more peaceful.

Besides the gut-wrenching pain of getting over the Day 2 hurdle, the next most difficult time for me is when I first get home after work.  As my usual habit was to turn on the TV or put in a movie to have some background noise (as I live alone).  But now I put on music and it works too.

If you want to try a nice fast, try not watching TV or Movies for a week and see the impact it has on your life.

If you want to try a very difficult but amazing experience, try a complete media fast by turning off all media sources - no TV, movies, Internet (ex emails), music, books and or newspapers.   I did this a few years ago and this was an amazing and terrifying experience.  This is a great one if you like writing in a journal or blogging because it gives you hours and hours of time to think.  It is difficult though.

If anyone has any thoughts on fasts, especially no food ones, I’d love to hear about them.

Good luck in any habits you are trying to change in 2009.  If you need any tips or suggestions those three websites I mentioned earlier are great starting points.