An English Teacher in China

I haven’t done a blogroll recently, as I haven’t been writing much recently, but here goes.

Since the Olympics have ended, I’ve heard that the visa situation has gotten a bit easier.  Then I stumbled across this China Briefing’ post Hong Kong Issuance of China Visas Easing.  This article mentions that it is for tourist visas in China and once you get onto the mainland you’d need to change it into a working visa.  It’s nice to see the visa trade is opening up too.

Lost Laowai’s You Buying the Angry Expat Ideology? This post talks about the importance of opening up our minds and hearts if we truly want to live in a foreign country.  It’s a nice idea about why foreigners get upset so often here in China.  Open your minds and hearts.

Filination.com has a nice exhibit to help you open your eyes: China’s Top 5 Most Beautiful Girls.

China.org.cn has a post with pictures of an Adult hotel opening in Nanning.  The photos makes help you visualize how China’s sexuality is becoming more open in such a traditionally conservative culture. Open your minds, hearts, wallets (legs?!)

Since coming to China 3 years ago I’ve been a bit paranoid about being watched. I’ve lived in hotels, university dorm rooms and now in my own apartment and I’ve gone through different waves of paranoia. Now that the Olympics are coming closer, a lot of weird little things are happening around me here in Beijing.

A few weeks back I picked up one of my favourite expat magazines, That’s Beijing, and was surprised at how it changed. It used to be a must read and now it was a cleaner, glossier, more anti-septic magazine. I didn’t know why until I read some other blogs today and found out the management has been changed just in time for the Olympics. From ImageThief’s article The New That’s Beijing and the Art of Stench Management. This is a shame as That’s Beijing was a great magazine. But it looks like now we’ll have to look for The Beijinger instead.

China Law Blog put out another great piece: You Saw Me Do What? Privacy in China. The talks overtly on how you’ll be watched if you come to Beijing for the Games.

Absurdity, Allegory and China had many good articles that I enjoyed, but here are two. The first, Don’t Go There, informs us how Beijing University is now off-limits because it is an Olympic venue. The second: Public spaces vs Private Needs, sadly, talks about how the beautiful new Olympic structures - the Bird’s Nest Olympic stadium and the CCTV building - will likely become off-limits to the general public and what some of the likely options will be. From what I’ve seen of parks, exercise spots and generally nice places in Beijing, I’m guessing it will become surrounded by a wall, a gate, a guard, a ticket booth, and beside a shopping mall, above a shopping mall, or near a shopping mall.

Here is the 11th Chapter in Confucius’s famous book, written by his disciples, called The Analects of Confucius. It is written in little posts, lessons, stories, with each chapter holding about 30. A lot I didn’t understand or didn’t care for, so I’ve included only the ones that I enjoyed, understood, or thought interesting to share. Like Confucius said, “It’s better to read one book a hundred times, than a hundred books one time.” So, I keep finding myself reviewing this book. Oh well, I guess that means I still have a lot to learn.

4/ Confucius said, “Yan Hui always entirely accepts whatever I say. He has never disagreed with me, and this is of no help at all.”

Like someone else said (Emerson?) If two people always agree, one of them is unnecessary.

20/ Zi Zhang asked how to become a good man. Confucius said, “A good man neither has to follow in other people’s tracks, nor has to be accomplished in learning or virtue.”

…I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow. If I fail, if I succeed… sorry, thought I’d jump into song there. Don’t follow others. This reminds me off a famous quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, another great philosopher/teacher, “There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide.”

22/ Zi Lu aksed, “Should one person respond immediately to a call?” Confucius said, “How can you respond immediately to a call with your father and elder brothers alive?”

Ran You asked the same question, “Should one respond immediately to a call?” Confucius said, “Yes, one should.”
Gongxi Hua was deeply perplexed, saying, I am puzzled. May I know why you gave two different answers to the same question?”

Confucius said, “Ran You usually hangs back, so I urge him on; Zhong You advances bravely and sometimes audaciously , so I hold him back.“

As a teacher you often have to adjust your style based on each student’s individual needs. Some need to be urged on and others need to be held back. Often in teaching, I find encouraging a student’s self-confidence is vital.

I’ve been a little lax on keeping up with what’s happening around China with the Olympics less than a month away. Actually, it hardly feels like the Olympics are so close. The weather has been unusual for a Beijing summer: rain every day, what is this London? Also, while people are working feverishly to finish things, subways, buildings, restaurant menus, still feels odd the ‘Pics are so close. But, deep down in the background, there is a wave of excitement that is slowly building; that the Olympics will be here soon.

Fortunately, some friends have been forwarding me some interesting articles about China that I’d like to share and here is one from the Independent Enter the Dragon..and Gain.. This talks of the benefits of (UK) students coming and experiencing China first hand. Also, it mentions how the quality of teachers coming to China has increased dramatically and that I’d agree with. Remember to get your qualifications before you come to China if possible if you want to teach.

Another great article, actually a nice series of articles, that I found on MoneyMSN, is called Keeping up with the Wangs: Land of 1.3 Billion Shoppers. It’s a lengthy piece, but the charts are fantastic, if you’re a nerd like me and like to read interesting charts and statistics - i.e. there are more cell phone users in China than people in the U.S. All in this series of articles looks fascinating.

This last article from Asia Times, touched me close to home, as a 30 something guy who isn’t married and who has an active father who’d like to see me get married off. Sunday Afternoon at the Marriage Mart

This talks about how parents of one-child babies sometimes go to the park and try to sell (pair) off their child. I found it quite interesting and terrifying. I was interested in how even in pairing off their children, how the selling (girl’s) parents would lie and try to trick the unsuspecting buyer (boy’s parents), by showing a different picture of their daughter. Like all things you buy here, you need to examine it closely to make sure you aren’t getting cheated: this includes love to I guess. What terrified me, wasn’t that this happens, it’s only parents who love their kids and want them to be happy, what terrified me was thinking about my dad being unleashed in this park trying to get (buy) me a nice girl and to see what he’d write on my advertisement card.

Driving in China seems to follow the general flow of things here, which appears to be:

just go baby, just go.

From a pedestrians point of view it looks like cars have the right of way and buses trump all. Cars seldom stop for people and buses never do, except at scheduled bus stops. Bicycles are fast, furious and everywhere. Electric bikes are deadly. They fly by in stealth mode, sometimes at speeds of up to 40km/hr. Sometimes I’m about to step off a sidewalk and whoosh an electric bike zooms by inches away from exploding into me. But, the biggest adjustment for me was in crossing a street in China.

Crossing the street in China is a challenge as you continually need to look in all directions, like running down on kick-off in an American football game, for all sorts of vehicles or 240lb linebackers (buses). The biggest challenge for me as a walker was watching cars turn right at a red light. Cars do NOT need to stop when turning right at a stop light. Actually, cars can speed up into the turn right. These drivers just go, and like a round-a-bout in Europe, without looking at the oncoming cars. The car coming onto the road seems to have the right-of-way. And no-one looks for pedestrians. The walker needs to be on the look out. Or to walk confidently giving a “straight arm” to the driver telling them they need to stop. Be careful, buses will NOT stop.

This “just go” mentality often leads to messy situations especially as more and more people are owning cars. People drive where they want when they want. Street signs seem to be recommendations only. Driving on sidewalks, driving the wrong way on a one-way street, and driving in the bicycle lane are common practices here. Actually I saw all of these situations while I was walking yesterday.

But sometimes, just going, can get you into trouble.

“So do you want to spend all your life with your wife?” asked my student.

“I’m not married.” I replied.

“But, when you get married, do you want to spend your entire life with one woman?” she returned.

I looked at her in surprise, “Of course I do. If get married to one woman, I would want to spend the rest of life with her.”

Now she looked surprised. “Why then do they say westerners are so open if you want to share your life with only one person?”

I was a bit shocked to her questioning and I thought the conversation was leading down a path of westerners being too open physically, or sexually, with our relationships and that Chinese were more conservative and so in some way better. This is a conversation and feeling that has grown on me in a negative way over the years.

As there were only two female students in class, I thought we could have a discussion - and it seemed a more electrified topic than the grammar we had to review, so we went down this path of western relationships being “open”.

I started by trying to explain that westerners often date for fun especially before marriage. That it is common for us to have many partners; to date many different people casually before we decide to get married. From between the ages of 16 to about 26 westerners date for fun: to get to know many partners; to get to know what they want in a partner and in a relationship. But when we get married that we try to stay together, “until death (or divorce) do us part.” Then I went on a tangent talking about how social pressures are leading to higher rates of divorce. After that we got back on track to western relationships by talking about my parents being happily married for over 30 years and how most people who get into marriages, hopefully, intend on staying together for the long-term.

Then I tried to show my understanding of Chinese relationships and how most Chinese don’t date for fun. They nodded in agreement. That in China dating is serious. People date to get married. It seems like Chinese don’t start dating until much later than westerners. I have met a lot of my university students, 18-19 years old, never having kissed a boy or girl. (Looking back on my spin-the-bottle kissing parties at the age of 13 did make me judge my own moral past!) But if Chinese start dating and kissing in university, it makes sense for them to be a bit more serious about their relationships. From my perspective it seems that in China if you aren’t serious about a relationship and aren’t ready to take on the responsibility that comes with marriage, then it’s best not to get into one or to be very honest about your intentions. Again she nodded in agreement. Yet, she was still quite puzzled.

From watching TV shows, movies, music videos and from hearing things from her parents, friends and teachers, people say westerners are “open”. Being open sometimes means open-minded which I proudly agree with. But it also often has the connotation of being open sexually, to be promiscuous and or to be morally dirty. This I hate. I guess I hate the idea of being morally judged. My poor student was still confused by this perceived contradiction and my explanations.

Then my other student chimed in and told us about her Chinese girlfriend who married an American. Her friend, the married one, thought that while Americans may date a lot before and are more “open” than Chinese before they get married, but after they get married they become quite conservative maybe more so than Chinese are. When I heard I felt that this was right. I also felt a bit morally vindicated; that not all westerners are “open” and that our relationships are great, challenging, happy, horrible and hopefully lifetime pursuit. That is once you’ve had your fun and met the right person to be with for the rest of your life.

The comedy of confusions over cultural clashes to be continued in my next class…